I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
