Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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