Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
