if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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