i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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