I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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