i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
