i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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