dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
