people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
