Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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