yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
