It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
