would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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