We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
