Just fell off a train. Bad.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just blew my weed a kiss
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
