she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
