it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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