The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize