i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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