i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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