my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
