i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
