I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize