i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
