i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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