she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
