the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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