Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
