No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
