just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
