You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
