how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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