I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
