So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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