Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize