i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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