just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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