i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
