You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
