I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
