Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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