Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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