Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
