this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
