i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
