I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
