just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
