he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
