I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
