There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize