Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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