Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
