I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
