When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
