I didn't shave. On purpose
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
