no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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