I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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