I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize