3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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