One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Me too!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
