Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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