just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
