I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
