Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
