Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
