You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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