weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize