Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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