everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
