operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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