we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize