the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
