Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she looked like the before picture.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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