just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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