Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
