Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
